???

I would have to say at this exact point with me, I am again once confused. I just don't understand, what it is I want when it comes to being with someone. I'm starting to hate myself for how I've been feeling inside, what am I suppost to do? MY GOD guys really know how to push a persons buttons, wait no I can't blame my problems on guys right now. Everything that I'm having problems with , has all been brought apon myself. People talk about womanizers, well maybe I'm a manizer. One minute I want to be with a guy, that well I know I could spend the rest of my life with, but then I don't. Maybe I'm scared but I'm starting to think that NO I'm not scared. I just don't want that right now, or maybe I just don't want that with him. I really don't know anymore. Then theres other guys that want to be with me, but I know for a fact I don't want to be with them. YET I keep pulling them along like little puppy dogs, on this leash I hold in my hand. I'm fucked up. I know people want to be with me, but why do none of them feel "right". Thats all I want, is to have when I 'm with someone, for it to feel right. I want family and all this stuff, I know I can have it, with ne of the people that have told me they want to be with me. BUT I don't want it with them, I don't want to be with them, I just want to be able to feel compfy in a relationship with someone. But I don't think I'll ever find that someone again, I'm looseing hope.
I'm way to fucked up for this right now, maybe I should just give up compleatly!

Terra